SH*T CANNED

SH*T CANNED

Yes, I hate these cans!

Can we talk about canned wines for a minute and their place or the non place they may or may not have in the wine trade?  Will somebody please tell me the consumer’s benefit of buying canned wine? I fully get why producers of crappy wine are in favor of releasing new canned wine “brands”.  It gives them one more outlet to dump insipid wine on the market. I’m told by suppliers that cans are easy to take to the beach, pop in a cooler, or take on a boat or into the movie theater.  Yeah, that’s fine but I’m not trading the “convenience” of packing a can for drinking horrific wine. For the past past 25 years I’ve been fine taking good wine and transferring it into an empty plastic water bottle in order to get it to whatever venue I want.  Then it went into a plastic, or even normal wine glass once the destination was reached. Not inconvenient at all. And are people drinking canned wine right out of the can? Through a straw? What? C’mon.

I’m all for renewable cleaner, greener vessels.  Hell, 85% of the beer I drink comes out of a can and brewers manage to put really good beer in cans.  When wineries like J. Lohr or Bogle start canning wine I may reconsider my opinion because these cats consistently turn out really good wines at excellent prices.  However, based on all the wines I’ve tasted in a can, not one of them was worth the money. In fact, most of them were horrible. You’re literally just paying for the packaging and the wine wouldn’t have been worth a damn had it been in a deep punted bottle.  You can grab my attention with your catchy names, flashy packaging and funny phrases, but at some point you need to put a drinkable product in the can. And let’s not even talk about the pricing. Eye roll please.

Until wineries decide to actually put good wine in cans and stop pawning off straight plonk, I would encourage everybody to just say no to the current cast of canned wine characters on the market and start actually reusing those plastic water or juice bottles in your recycling bin.  Fill them up with good wine, go to the movie, avoid the “snap” of opening a can in silence, and enjoy the show over a bottle of good wine.